Jacquel Rassenworth Plays the Famished Games
by jacquelrassen1
Summary: The Queen of Memes has volunteered as a tribute for the Famished Games! Will she survive? This is an unauthorized parody of the Hunger Games.


Disclaimer: this story is a work of fanfiction and is based on the Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins. The writer does not claim ownership of the Hunger Games at all.

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Well, this is where my story begins.

I, Jacquel Rassenworth, am sitting in a corner of the school gym; for the umpteenth time, I was hit in the face by a basketball. I am so going to make sure that Sereno Brownstone or his twin Tammy pay for that!

Anyway, I go down to my favorite spot by the school swimming pool, where my boyfriend Gordon Renald was. He's not the hottie that most girls like, but he's mine.

He said to me, "I hear that today is Choosing Day."

I shrugged; Choosing Day usually leads to a game that I call the Famished Games, where there's not much starving, but it's a glorified fight to the death. I always thought that the Famished Games were useless.

Well, in this world, there is dystopia, where the government controls EVERYTHING. Which means that every six months (beginning a few decades before I was born), the government has the Famished Games. I recalled a rebellion against the government and the rebels trying to get rid of the government and reinstate the United States of America, but the rebellion failed and that's why we have these games.

I next said, "I hope that no one we know gets picked, unless it's Sereno and Tammy." I hated those twins with a vengeance; they make Jaime and Cersei Lannister look like angels. Every Choosing Day, we all pray that they are chosen and then shipped off to the Famished Games, where they would eventually die.

Please let this happen!

Gordon said, "Darn, guess who's here?"

I turned around and saw a woman wearing a dress that was so ugly, Lady Gaga would burn it on sight. Everyone else in my high school had gathered in the assembly hall, where the Choosing would happen. Gordon and I rushed to the back of the group, where we weren't to be noticed.

As soon as we had all gathered in the hall, the woman said, "Hello, students, and welcome to the Choosing, where two of you will be chosen to represent your state in the Famished Games. The president has determined that you are all old enough to be chosen for the Famished Games. And now, I'm going to draw out your names from this cookie jar here."

At once, the cookie jar was set in front of her. She reached inside the jar and pulled out a name. "David Putnam," she read aloud.

The school gasped; we had a policy of not sending orphans to the Famished Games, and David was an orphan. I recalled him cooking food for my family one winter so that we didn't starve to death. My mother, Katelyn, had been killed when she was in the Famished Games when I was seven years old; I was now 15.

David said, "I accept this nomination," as he stood up and went to the podium. The other students tried to talk him out of going, but their cries fell on deaf ears.

The woman pulled out another name and read, "Laura Langley."

Immediately, protests against this choosing rang out, as Laura was disabled and she couldn't fend for herself. The girl in question screamed and cried as she was being dragged away from her caregiver. I couldn't just stand there and let them do this to a poor little girl; something had to be done here.

Before a riot could begin, I shouted four words that would change this story around: "I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!"

Well...that shut everyone up.

I found myself standing next to the strange woman and David. The woman said to me, "And who are you?"

"I'm Jacqueline Elaina Rassenworth," I said. "My mother, Katelyn Quintillia Rassenworth, was in the Famished Games three times and won them all. I aim to be like her."

Of course, I ain't the least bit for real. If I were, I would have volunteered Sereno and Tammy as tributes and forever rid our state of Integrity of these two life-killers. I also aimed to keep Laura out of the games as much as I could.

"In that case," said the woman, "we have to make an exception."

To the others, she said, "I give you your tributes for the 3013 Famished Games, from the state of Integrity, David Putnam and Jacqueline Rassenworth!"

The applause was quite deafening, as if the population of the high school was trying to destroy my hearing before the games began. The woman said to me, "I do hope that you know what you are doing, my dear. A pretty girl like you doesn't belong in the Famished Games."

I knew that I had to live up to my mother's reputation of being a winner. I had to win. Dad and Matt were suffering for far too long now and I needed to win the games for their sake.

Thus, here's how I played the Famished Games.


End file.
